There’s still a stigma for men around talking about how we feel. But we’re all human – we all have feelings. Just talk about it.
I lost one of my best friends from high school to suicide. It happened the day before a reunion we were all travelling home for. I was 19 or 20, and that was the first time I realised how long pain can stick around. I wanted to talk about it, but it felt like if I did, I’d be doing something wrong – like breaking a rule. So I stayed quiet.
The surprise for me has been when I’ve spoken up, the people I least expected have been the most supportive. It’s hard being the first person to say something, but you’ll be surprised by the response. Every situation I’ve faced with my mental health, I’ve never done alone. Having a support network – whether it’s family or friends who become family – is everything.
I’ve learned to meet people where they’re at. With the boys, some of the best conversations happen when we’re driving. No eye contact, no pressure – just two people chatting. Things come up naturally. It’s ridiculous to think saying how you feel makes you less manly. Holding it all in is far worse. I’ve reached the point where I don’t care what people think – speaking up doesn’t make me less of a man.
For me, it’s about being a role model for my family. I can’t be there for them if I’m not looking after myself. That means creating space for others to speak, sharing my experiences, and staying true to who I am. If something’s not right, speak up. Do something about it. Put yourself first so you can help those around you.
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